OF LUCK AND BAD LUCK

Luck, yesterday

-          1. Met Dato Siti Nurhaliza..face to face!!! yesterday (31 march 2010) =D

-          2. Shacked hand with her =D

-          3. Took picture =D

 me, syarah, milah n dato siti (blur..waa...but whatever...) =D

Bad luck, today

-          1. Been hit by a car…(which was totally the car driver’s fault!!!) Nas and I was on my motorcycle otw to the   fac- have Mandarin oral test today

-         2.  The most f******iest thing is that the driver couldn’t care less to stop and just ran away like nothing happened!!! I curse the day the driver was born!!(taken from sex and the city)

-         3. Scraped our knees and elbow…

-          4. Otw back to hostel, another stupid car driver ran into a water puddle and made a big splash which hit us. ‘THANKS’ for making us wet!!

-          5. My fav jeans- torn!

-          6. My fav cardigan- torn!

-          7. My motorcycle- damaged!

ilustration of what happened..

my knee...

Anyway, thank God that we are alright and the wounds are not that bad....

Alhamdulillah....

Scare of snake? i'm not...

icode eXotic animals exhibition totally blowd my mind...
yeah, iguanas + other kind of lizards, spiders(OMG!!! aracnidphobic), a little squirel(i think...=p forgot to ask), a wild cat (not HSM's WIld Cats) and snakes...

1. got to pet a huge iguana...about the size of my thigh (actually, bigger!!) felt like plastic toy...haha...
2. braced myself to go into the spiders show room...opend the door, took a few step, turn back and close the door...again, went inside, walked far from the spiders, look at them a bit, have funny feeling all over my body, total shock when i saw a spider crawling on their hand...waaargh!..
3. saw the pythons, wanted to take picture(with them on me) hehe...
4. asked nas to accompany me n take my picture...
5. choose an albino python (dont know why the person incharge seem shock when i said i want the albino python...???
6. nervous.(i may die-like in anoconda movie lol)...but then the python seem soooooooooOOOOOOooo CUTE!!!
7. love the feeling of being wraped by the python (somehow i feel more secure...??)
8. took pictures. they took the python... =(
9. "Bro, gimme back 'my' albino python!!"(i said inside)
10. decided to have a pet snake later...(n still deciding bcause thinking of my future pet cats..lol)

btw: it was so hot!!the reptiles need to be sprayed with water and ice...n my hair felt like being put into an oven lol...
n i look messy n comot...=(

Burden

I smile when I want to,

And I do smile when you want to.

I cry when I want to

And I do cry when you want to.

I mad when I want to

And I do mad when you want to.

But when I feel like crying

when you want me to smile,

then I will smile like nothing worth of crying.

So what I will do when you want me to,

Even my heart aches,

Breaks,

Bla, bla, bla…

When some things are for yourself but not others to have,

A burden that you carry, of only you would understand.

~Calmal Adam~

the world is not perfect

The world is not perfect,

The sun burns

And rain floods.

The world is not perfect,

The earth quakes,

And ocean flood.

The world is not perfect,

So are you

And so does me.

The world is not perfect,

And so does this poem.

~Calmal Adam~

REALIZATION

now i see

that you have more time for yourself

more time, more time.

but deep down i feel that you don’t like it,

as you keep making yourself busy,

just like a poem i have once read.

now i see

that you have more time for yourself

more time for family

but somehow i feel far

which i don’t like

just like tar

it stains.

now i see

that you finally realize

of what become of me

not like what you ever want

now i see

that you finally realize

that i'm not like what u thought

now i feel

the looks from your eyes,

of how they see

i feel vulnerable.

now i feel

guilty of what i am

not being what you want

i’m sorry of what i done.

now i feel

guilty of what i done

not being a man like you want.

now i even wish

wish for a miracle

as when i wake up from sleep

and be of what i should

in your dream.

now i even wish

wish for a wish

so I can wish

to be what you wish.

now i am sorry

now i’m sorry

of not being……

now i feel

like tornado twirling

confuse

angry

sad

etc…etc…

it is complicated

now the only word i can say

only sorry i can say

sorry, sorry, sorry…

                                               ~calmal adam~

bLueBeary, DeviL and BaG…

Oh no, bluebeary has turned evil!!!

call him bluebeary the Devil..hehe...

(sat.27 Feb 10)

well, tonight was quite a hot night at icity. lots and lots of peeeooOOplee... actually, the head gear with the little pair of horns 'tickled' my interest..hehe...so i bought it for RM5, eventhough after that my friends bought the same headgear for RM4...but whatever....=p

all eyes were on me...haha... not really lol...too many people and i became a bit anxious... but again i try to walk and blend (even though i wore a glowing devil horns -most of them wore it, some wore mickey's glowing ears- and walked like i was on a runway). i think i did (did i??).

yesterday, my friends and i went to KL. the objective of the trip was actually to find novels for our literature subject. Unfortunately we only found a novel with only 2 left and we bought it. one out of 2 novels that we want to buy. So i spend the rest of my budget to buy this bag!! i had dream of buying a new one since december last year...n finally, thank god! =D

and thank god that i was able to control myself from buying another shirtsssss...eventhough i almost bought one but i did not because of the size...hehehe... (mind-note: no more extra shopping!!).

One Eye

one eye,

one of yours is blind,

the other covered by white,

you may even not see clearly,

but others are far more worse.

walking slowly on dirty path,

your sight faded, as you gets old

your eyes get worstened,

and so are others heart and soul.

one eye,

one like me pity you so much

but none i can do to ease

your poor heart... 

one eye,

if i can speak and 

if i can understand you,

will it change

how others view?

it's time for me to go

hard for me to forget

your sweet voice, that

made me walked so slow

i'm sorry i cant do anything,

though i can see your heart is bleeding

will i ever see you again?

if i do, can i be a help? 

or will others help you to gain,

a life far good from today?

~calmal adam~

ps: i wrote this in 2009, as a dedication to One Eye...

poems...

these are the poems that i wrote b4 i wrote 'blank'. 

___________

trust

lost in a dark forest,

with a laughing map on my face,

and a cunning compass.

which should i trust to,

which should i trust to

..

dark forest,

a laughing owl,

a sneaky centipede,

which should i trust to,

which should i trust to

dark forest,

seem that i am alone,

would u eat me alive,

or just let me live in lies

dark forest,

when can i have hope?

when can i have trust?

when can i have love?

~Calmal~ 

____________

bleed

yes i admit,

i am blue among these red roses.

should i bleed myself?

so i would be red like them...

should i? or shouldn't i?

~calmal~

____________

freakshow 

LOOK at me,

ain't i'm a freak?

a freak in your dusty and muddy little brain!

again it's for you and others to judge,

normal? abnormal? handicap? freak? bla bla bLA!

do i have a choice?

or i just have to choose?

follow those,

and act just fool?

i had enough,

had enough,

killing me would be mercy,

than to keep me in your tiny cage!

~calmal~

blank

blank

with emptiness

makes soul confused

makes soul withered

 

blank

with emptiness

that so heavy

yet so empty

 

blank

with emptiness

of none could see

of none could touch

of none could smell

of none could feel

but only me...

~calmal adam~