REALIZATION

now i see

that you have more time for yourself

more time, more time.

but deep down i feel that you don’t like it,

as you keep making yourself busy,

just like a poem i have once read.

now i see

that you have more time for yourself

more time for family

but somehow i feel far

which i don’t like

just like tar

it stains.

now i see

that you finally realize

of what become of me

not like what you ever want

now i see

that you finally realize

that i'm not like what u thought

now i feel

the looks from your eyes,

of how they see

i feel vulnerable.

now i feel

guilty of what i am

not being what you want

i’m sorry of what i done.

now i feel

guilty of what i done

not being a man like you want.

now i even wish

wish for a miracle

as when i wake up from sleep

and be of what i should

in your dream.

now i even wish

wish for a wish

so I can wish

to be what you wish.

now i am sorry

now i’m sorry

of not being……

now i feel

like tornado twirling

confuse

angry

sad

etc…etc…

it is complicated

now the only word i can say

only sorry i can say

sorry, sorry, sorry…

                                               ~calmal adam~